Monday, April 16, 2012

It's Not Me, It's My Vitamin M Talking

Not for under 10 JudgeMentals.
I am not always at the payee end.
I am using code-mixing and unstructured rambling after a long time.
The mirror image used is grammatically incorrect; makes sense to those who geddit. 
'Bha. Po.' shi matlab.

The frequently occurring story of every "I'll pay!" enthusiast.

I haven't earned a penny throughout the past year. At my upper-middle-class( ? ! :P ) home, we practice a supply-on-demand method of allowance which is occassionally accompanied by numerous questions. Let's leave aside the largest share of my kharcha, the electricity spent to stay connected over the net, as it is not counted in my pocket-money. It's a luxury which I have cleverly convinced my parents to regard as a basic need. Again let me clear the ground terminology:

काटकसरी < कंजूष < कोकणस्थ ब्राह्मण

I shall fall under the first category till 27th August, 2012 arrives. After that I might tend towards the middle category. :P

So, the story line is very simple. When out with a group, there's always someone who has his/her wallet ready just in time to pay. I'm not talking about shopping, birthday celebrations, movie or drinking (something) with friends. Usually the contribution at such times is not that complicated. This situation is observed when we just get out from auto, buy something non-expensive to eat or when one of our friends offers to pay, but the shopkeeper doesn't have 500 change. You offer to pay on behalf of seven people as a reflex and the moment of truth draws upon you, 'how should I ask them to pay me Rs. 8 each?' This feeling is the same when you buy a sandwich or paani puri, and you offer someone, "arrey, taste ke liye khaa ke dekh na" and they actually like it, and then they take 2 pieces. :(
My point is, if it were for an amount Rs.10 or more, asking for their share would be really normal. But below that, if you tell them to pay, you might be at a risk to be called a miser. The next time you take your wallet out, someone may taunt you, "Tu rehane de.. baad me pachaaso baar yaad dilayega, paisa do, paisa do!"

The unfair reality is, frankness and simplicity are underrated. People will always want you to be cool, and never learn your importance if you are just you.
(Transition to a simpler language, first person used for the sake of it) 
See, as there are 7 people, I have payed Rs. 56, which is a visible part of my allowance. So, for me, expecting that others will pay, is rather very reasonable. But, from the third person's point of view, me asking for an amount as negligible as Rs. 8 is very uncool. And thus strikes the awkward moment, 'To ask or not to ask'. 

Chanakya neeti says, "Krutam karma kartaaram anugachchati|" (Reap as you sow.)
Since I come from a very 'Sanskrit' family (a family, where Idealism is followed religiously and when in doubt, your best guides are 'Sanskrit Subhaashita's), At such times, I also happen to think if my asking for money shall be considered a 'paap' to send me to hell; or my being generous will lead me an afterlife in heaven. Right after this thought, I realize that I don't care about afterlife and permanently (and conveniently) have an acute vitamin M deficiency.

Note: The writer expects hate-mail.

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